Pants on Fire
Breaking Down An Irrational Troll’s Sabre Rattling
Every once in a while, like earlier this week, I get some nice comments from people who found my story and took the time to message me that they found it helpful and wished me well. That’s all I can ever hope for.
Then there was the troll.
Apparently, a “Robyn Lapalme” thinks I am a shameful liar-liar-pants-on-fire, according to the subject line in their quite direct message to me this week. Real person? Not sure. Needless to say they are not a fan and are championing my demise.
Let’s listen in to their own all-caps words, shall we:
“Subject: LIAR
Message: INVESTIGATING YOU AND WILL BRING YOUR LIES TO TRUTH. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! RUINING AN INNOCENT MANS LIFE FOR PERSONAL GAME. YOU ARE NOTHING BUT AN ATTENTION SEEKER. PEOPLE LIKE YOU RUIN IT FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE REALLY SUFFERED ABUSE.”
I can only assume it’s a troll who gets joy from copy-and-pasting this on ALL survivors’ stories, or perhaps it is someone who genuinely knows the villain in my story.
Then I thought I might be reading it wrong - perhaps they meant it about the perp, not me - because it reads well that way, too - and nicely summarizes the entire arc of everything I’ve done to get here! (try rereading it that way, you’ll like it!). Alas, it is meant to shame me into submission.
In the end, it doesn’t matter. Another angry person, with no knowledge and nothing to do with the situation, shouting into the wind.
I chose to simply reply, “I am not sure what you mean.” Which is true. Or is it? I could be lying.
Blowback is Common
I highlight this particular incident here and call bullshit as an example of blowback survivors face all the time, and not only men, but especially women and girls.
There’s that small part of the anonymous online public that takes to sabre rattling and others who just ignore that this happens every day.
Troll and mob feedback and behaviour can hit closer to home, too: from family and friends of the accused but also the victim’s own inner circle, especially when family and friends might be intertwined with the abuser. We tend to stand with those we know and love, regardless. We never shine lights into the dark places of our own lives.
This One’s for You, Robyn
So let’s normalize discussing uncomfortable subjects. It’s not hard. Let’s start with believing the accuser until there’s a decision. Let’s feel ok to stand up and say, nope, this is my truth and just because it ain’t your belief, it doesn’t make it any less true.
So let’s expedite Robyn Lapalme’s investigation and incredible claims, the assertive confidence and self-righteousness, and help accelerate the conclusion everyone is hoping for:
Investigating you and will bring your lies to truth. Well, you are joining the party a little late because it has already been investigated. From reporting in late 2008 to conviction in mid-2012.
Whether troll or an Epstein-friend-type friend, they clearly don’t understand, the path to this point in time is laid out in court documents and decisions (here and here). Whether you like my writing or not, the agreement of facts is held by two municipal police departments, two provincial Crown attorneys, two pre-trial judges, one presiding court judge, and three appellant judges. I did not convict him and sentence him, the system simply did its job. Maybe start with these documents, then let me know if I can help with your investigation.
You should be ashamed of yourself for ruining an innocent man’s life. Yes. Yes he should.
Personal Game [sic] and Nothing But an Attention Seeker. I am curious to know what people who speak up “gain” (or “game”), implying there is some form of fame and riches that follows these efforts. I definitely “gained” embarrassment talking about my childhood abuse publicly, I amassed piles of fear of not being believed, I garnered pocket-fulls of misunderstanding and misplaced shame.
MAYBE we do gain some relief in placing that shame where it belongs, at the feet of the perpetrators, who actually did the shameful thing, lightening our load by giving that baggage up. If anyone thinks there are “riches” in this, it is only in trying to live a better life.
I AM an attention seeker. This is true. You got me there. The more survivors that see this story, and it resonates enough for them to feel less shitty about themselves, or for them to stand up and look after themselves, or for them to face an abuser, then I will be your Kardashian-level attention seeker any day.
People like you ruin it for people who have really suffered abuse. This is the weirdest and most non-sensical part, and why I land on this being a troll. Truly disconnected from everything in this blog. But part of me says, “Wait. You mean there are more ‘people like me’!?” That’s awesome! Not clear how I am ruining, or what I am ruining, for survivors. Why the last minute compassion for survivors after completely writing off the story of this survivor? Fair-weather loyalties are interesting.
So, fellow survivors, chart your own path, chin up, and don’t let the turkeys get you down.
Whether you are an online troll or an actual pedophile fan, go fuck yourself.