What Is ‘healing’, really?
Redefining what healing looks like for male survivors: progress, setbacks, and everything in between.
“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.” – Akshay Dubey
True healing is about finding freedom from the pain’s hold, not erasing the past.
Healing is often misunderstood as a final destination—a point where the pain disappears, and you’re fully “fixed.” For male survivors of childhood sexual abuse, this misconception can feel discouraging, especially on tough days when progress seems completely elusive, even backwards.
The truth is that healing is not linear, nor is it about erasing the past. It’s about learning to carry your experiences with less weight and finding ways to reclaim your life on your terms.
Healing involves both external actions and internal shifts. It might start with seeking therapy, opening up to a trusted friend, or simply acknowledging the abuse to yourself. These steps, though small, can be monumental because they show a desire to move forward. Internally, healing often requires challenging the negative narratives you may have internalized about yourself—shame, guilt, or unworthiness—and replacing them with compassion and self-acceptance.
There may be setbacks along the way, but these are not signs of failure. Think of healing as climbing a mountain with winding paths. Some days, you may lose ground or feel stuck, but every step you take strengthens your ability to keep moving forward. Progress isn’t measured by the absence of pain but by how you respond to it, how you rebuild trust with yourself and others, and how you allow moments of joy and connection into your life.
Ultimately, healing is about reclaiming your power. It’s about learning to live a life shaped by your values, not by your trauma. It’s finding the courage to create a future that feels meaningful and fulfilling. And most importantly, it’s about reminding yourself that you are worthy of the time, effort, and care it takes to heal. No matter where you are on your journey, every step forward counts.
Key Take-away: Healing is a non-linear journey of self-discovery, progress, and resilience, not a final destination.
Reflective Prompts:
How do you currently define healing in your life?
What small actions or moments have made you feel a sense of progress or relief?
How might you give yourself permission to embrace healing as a journey rather than a destination?